Oh, it’s a Christmas poem you’re wanting?

NO! But how about some semi-on-topic one-liners I picked up over the past year?

“Another fight to the death to prove who loves God the most.” — Randy
“Frisbeetarianism: When you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.” — ??
“Science without skepticism is nothing more than superstition.” — Kevin
“If what they are saying were true, one signature would have been enough” — Einstein (supposedly)
“Political ideologies are fairy tales for adults. ” — T. Sowell
“Life was much simpler when the average lifespan was 29 years.” — Michael Rodgers
“We elect lawyers as our leaders and then wonder why nothing useful ever gets done and everything gets worse and worse.” — Nemo
“Using statistics on such a serious issue such as AIDS was a true low blow!” — Verdell Brookens
“You should never drink alone. It may lead to youtube” — tinyelephant
“Dude, she had to take remedial reading at Princeton. See Sonia judge. Judge, Sonia, judge!” — Illiterate Baboon
“All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds.” — Richard Brautigan
“I See Morons. They’re Everywhere. Call it my 6th sense.” — Joe Bogus
“As an Asian-American I resent being repeatedly pulled over by police to answer math questions.” — Anon
“For I do not see what there is desireable in public esteem, were I able to acquire and maintain it: it would perhaps increase my acquaintance, the thing which I chiefly study to decline.” — Isaac Newton
“Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.” — Mark Twain
“But really I’m only a sociopath in principle, not in action.” – capntim
“It’s a safe bet that people who use the words ‘empowered,” ‘community” and ‘meaningful” in close proximity do not produce anything you can hold in your hands” – Lileks
“Speak up, dork.” — J. Lileks
“In the future I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make.” — Paris Hilton
“As an Englishmen, I naturally start from a base of resentment against anyone with perfect dentition.” – Derbyshire
“I deplore with you the putrid state into which our newspapers have passed, and the malignancy, the vulgarity and mendacious spirit of those who write for them.” — T. Jefferson
“When psychologists say ‘most people’ they usually mean ‘most of the two dozen sophomores who filled out a questionnaire for beer money.’” — Pinker
“You have to think your way out of liberalism.” – Heather Mac Donald
“The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.” — H. G. Wells
“People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.” — T. Sowell
“Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.” – P. J. O’Rourke